the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
