when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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