We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Randomize