Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize