Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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