Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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