Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
You can't motorboat a personality
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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