Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
