An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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