so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
