Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
