If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
