I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
