I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
