I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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