I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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