No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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