I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
barbara walters just said penis...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
