Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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