my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
