It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
