yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
