It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
