Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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