Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
