Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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