A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize