this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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