all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
