I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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