all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
