Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
