I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
