drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
