i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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