I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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