obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
