Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
