i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
