We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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