yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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