Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"

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(519): View more from Ontario

While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.

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(234): View more from Ohio

No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.

(387): View more from

I don't know what to judge you more for.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.

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(516): View more from New York

Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice

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(856): View more from New Jersey

My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times

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(740): View more from Ohio

I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.

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(415): View more from California

So is he the one who got away?

(619): View more from California

They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.

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