i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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