people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
