all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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