At least make sure they are 18
Why
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
