I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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