What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
