We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
