I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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