IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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