Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
