If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
