I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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