So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think my moral compass just broke
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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