Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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