I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize